In Between Love and Hate

16 April 2009

Finally, I am in between love and hate situation. He told me lately, he found there is another love for someone. When he told me that, I remembered he told me before...I wouldnt' find any gilfriend before you got any boyfriend. Maybe he has forgotten what he has said before. I dunno what's my feeling now...though I know my jealousy its in extremely high. Usually this is my normal re-action. Thinking back, if we go back to 10 years ago. We are still friend but not as couple, the friendship could be longer and longer.

I think he has tired of me, and feeling not really caring too. The care has changed to friendship.
Was thinking should I ask him not to pick me up from the airport. What will I speak to him for the first word? Do we feel embarassed, since we not are couple either I dont like as a friend to be with him. I have been in dilemma for a year in between as friend or couple.

Friends only appears in my list when we are not in relationship and I get used to someone who treat me as friend. I dunno how to express myself now. Maybe only know when we meet then only I know what I will re-act.

Our relationship started with 10 years ago, both of us are college student....remembered why we are lost contact its because he told me that his ex-girlfriend doesnt like me to contact him anymore, so we have stopped and lost contact for about 2-3 years. He was in Beijing at that time, when we known each other, there is maybe time, I was broke-off with my ex bf too. We get along together. And become couple since in end of year 2005, remember its a christmas eve. Time flies very quickly, now i m coming to 28 turning to another stage of life. A new life has come. Things has changed and feelings has gone. Maybe its my time to re-born a new life for myself. I think my story lines are quite interesting, should I sell it off to some movie production and make it as a movie?

I dunno how he feel when he will read my blog?

Tell me what you feel when you read this article.