是不是， 一个男人变了心就是当你是个朋友。 这一些晚上，我都会梦到他。。。可能这叫＇想太多＇吧。。。也可能他已经变了心爱的不是我。 太多回忆也跟他有关， 我是哟个比较有感情的人， 没有理性去说对还是错。 但是我知道＇曾经拥有过，是我的幸福＇ 现在的我，应该去想我的将来。
我的未来不时一个梦。 我会实现我的未来。 美丽的梦想。
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Final 2 days in Nederland
9th April 2009
Today is my last final 2 days in Nederland. The first day I stepped into this country. I feel like I will be dead bored here and mean while there is a person which I have been missed for 2 years and hoping to see him in real. The first moment I saw him, we was really feeling awkward and really I dont feel the comfortable in between. After 2 days we have communicate and going out ......I started to feel ya, he could be the friend not only the boyfriend.
However, the feeling has came back when I and him be alone. Anyhow, I am going back tomorrow and may not coming back anymore. Last night, I went out with the friends in Nederland and as well as I have really thanks to her because she really treat me really good in Netherland. Really need to thank to her for the stay in Netherland. She and him brought me to ann 'asian party'. In Nederland, if you speak in English they will thought you're are an expatriate. Beside that, I think I am still have an attraction...hahaha...still have some young guys would like to dance with me. But, what a coincidence I have met up with my ex boyfriend bro's in the dicso. That's really weird. But we didnt greet to each and other. To him, probably he wouldn't like to see me anymore. Trying to text him just now....but there is no reply. I think probably he need to company the girl. re
While writing a blog, I am listening to a radio station....while thinking of my mom now after 10 days have not seen them....I really missed them now. Dunno what they will doing right now. The weather in Netherland its bit strange, it doesnt looks like in Malaysia where its only will have sunny and rainy....but here its really weird...It looks sunny but it change in the afternoon.
Allright, thats all for todya. Should see everyone on Monday.
Today is my last final 2 days in Nederland. The first day I stepped into this country. I feel like I will be dead bored here and mean while there is a person which I have been missed for 2 years and hoping to see him in real. The first moment I saw him, we was really feeling awkward and really I dont feel the comfortable in between. After 2 days we have communicate and going out ......I started to feel ya, he could be the friend not only the boyfriend.
However, the feeling has came back when I and him be alone. Anyhow, I am going back tomorrow and may not coming back anymore. Last night, I went out with the friends in Nederland and as well as I have really thanks to her because she really treat me really good in Netherland. Really need to thank to her for the stay in Netherland. She and him brought me to ann 'asian party'. In Nederland, if you speak in English they will thought you're are an expatriate. Beside that, I think I am still have an attraction...hahaha...still have some young guys would like to dance with me. But, what a coincidence I have met up with my ex boyfriend bro's in the dicso. That's really weird. But we didnt greet to each and other. To him, probably he wouldn't like to see me anymore. Trying to text him just now....but there is no reply. I think probably he need to company the girl. re
While writing a blog, I am listening to a radio station....while thinking of my mom now after 10 days have not seen them....I really missed them now. Dunno what they will doing right now. The weather in Netherland its bit strange, it doesnt looks like in Malaysia where its only will have sunny and rainy....but here its really weird...It looks sunny but it change in the afternoon.
Allright, thats all for todya. Should see everyone on Monday.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
不一樣的感覺
2 May 2009
這一次來到AMSTERDAM ， 荷蘭有點不一樣的感覺。我還記得第一次來到荷蘭，我真的很興奮。但是這一次來到荷蘭，我覺得 我真的不適合到來這裡的生活。有可能我們都已經變了。他變了很開朗那個，話得別多了。而我已經變了，沒有那麽開朗。。。。有可能他有了別提和戀情。 我一人，有點睡不到。。。一人下去走走。。想想到住走走。已經2年我們都沒見面。昨晚我們談天有想起我們的第一次。 我問問他，是否已經表白他喜歡他的。他說，他不想跟她表白。我們都變了。。。我問他2年前我們在一起， 你是否覺得幸福嗎。。。他說很幸福。。。我很想問，我的真愛會幾時來了。
很亂的心境。。。 我已經回到當初的我， 很想說我們都變了。不是到我們變是好還是坏。這一早上，我想的太多吧。。。。 沒想都，我們還是以朋友開始但分手也是個朋友。
走到一個人的街道，真的很想大哭一場。
這一次來到AMSTERDAM ， 荷蘭有點不一樣的感覺。我還記得第一次來到荷蘭，我真的很興奮。但是這一次來到荷蘭，我覺得 我真的不適合到來這裡的生活。有可能我們都已經變了。他變了很開朗那個，話得別多了。而我已經變了，沒有那麽開朗。。。。有可能他有了別提和戀情。 我一人，有點睡不到。。。一人下去走走。。想想到住走走。已經2年我們都沒見面。昨晚我們談天有想起我們的第一次。 我問問他，是否已經表白他喜歡他的。他說，他不想跟她表白。我們都變了。。。我問他2年前我們在一起， 你是否覺得幸福嗎。。。他說很幸福。。。我很想問，我的真愛會幾時來了。
很亂的心境。。。 我已經回到當初的我， 很想說我們都變了。不是到我們變是好還是坏。這一早上，我想的太多吧。。。。 沒想都，我們還是以朋友開始但分手也是個朋友。
走到一個人的街道，真的很想大哭一場。
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
淡淡忘了
28 april 2009
淡淡忘了
忘和忙， 有一个人我已经遗忘 他长了什么样。。。
我终于明白，他的爱永远永不回来。。。他已经有了新对象。 有可能是我的嫉妒。。也有可能是我的敏锐的感觉。 人都是一样的， 用感情去遗忘 一段美好的回忆。 有人说， 人就是很容易去忘旧的又很盼望新的来。。。。但是为什么， 我重来没有这一种感觉。 我已经爱的太深了。 永远都回记得这一段甜美的日记
Friday, April 17, 2009
Time to Move On
17th April 2009
It has been 4 nights include tonight I have sleepless night. After a wake from 3 am this morning, I really cant sleep back. Maybe because of my jealousy after heard that he has fallen in love with someone whom not with me. But, the another hand I told myself, its time to move on dear....you cant always in your sweet dream...be tough, be strong...you have to forget this person very soon. You can't always be like a sweetie...neither he would not comes back to you.
Suddenly, I emailed him and tried to avoid him to meet up for my Europe trip. I do not know, is he really a nice person said wanna pick me up from the airport and send me to the hotel and bla bla bla. You know, something I am feeling he is acting in front me. And he told me everything....even 'she knows that he will pick me from the airport'. What does it means....I believe probably he would like to the whole world...you see how smart I am, still my EX-Girlfriend coming to visit me. Though I am his ex-girlfriend but it doesnt mean that he would be nice to me. I tried several emails and inform, please do not pick me from airport. Dont you think we shouldn't meet up, especially he knows that once I am crying, no one can stop me and I hardly stop from crying too. I have no tears and nearly dried-up my eyes because of him. I didnt hate him now, and I understand what he wants. So I decided to let my hands go and he keeps wants to hold back. As he told me, he just need a purely friendship between me and HIM.
Does it sounds like he's really generous person or reflecting me that I am selfish person. He told me, in a relationship only said love or dont love. I never know he ever never love me before, probably he did...maybe within the 3 months before. I only hope god knows what I have done...I appreicated the gifts he has sent to me before. But I dont appreciate the acting on pick me up from airport, since we are truely know we would have some embarassed situation will happened.
I couldn't understand what he has thought in his mind. And I never thought what he thinks too. Many scenes in my mind keep on repeating....like a slide show. We have not meet up for 2 years, I really dont wish to meet with him now and forever.
It has been 4 nights include tonight I have sleepless night. After a wake from 3 am this morning, I really cant sleep back. Maybe because of my jealousy after heard that he has fallen in love with someone whom not with me. But, the another hand I told myself, its time to move on dear....you cant always in your sweet dream...be tough, be strong...you have to forget this person very soon. You can't always be like a sweetie...neither he would not comes back to you.
Suddenly, I emailed him and tried to avoid him to meet up for my Europe trip. I do not know, is he really a nice person said wanna pick me up from the airport and send me to the hotel and bla bla bla. You know, something I am feeling he is acting in front me. And he told me everything....even 'she knows that he will pick me from the airport'. What does it means....I believe probably he would like to the whole world...you see how smart I am, still my EX-Girlfriend coming to visit me. Though I am his ex-girlfriend but it doesnt mean that he would be nice to me. I tried several emails and inform, please do not pick me from airport. Dont you think we shouldn't meet up, especially he knows that once I am crying, no one can stop me and I hardly stop from crying too. I have no tears and nearly dried-up my eyes because of him. I didnt hate him now, and I understand what he wants. So I decided to let my hands go and he keeps wants to hold back. As he told me, he just need a purely friendship between me and HIM.
Does it sounds like he's really generous person or reflecting me that I am selfish person. He told me, in a relationship only said love or dont love. I never know he ever never love me before, probably he did...maybe within the 3 months before. I only hope god knows what I have done...I appreicated the gifts he has sent to me before. But I dont appreciate the acting on pick me up from airport, since we are truely know we would have some embarassed situation will happened.
I couldn't understand what he has thought in his mind. And I never thought what he thinks too. Many scenes in my mind keep on repeating....like a slide show. We have not meet up for 2 years, I really dont wish to meet with him now and forever.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
In Between Love and Hate
16 April 2009
Finally, I am in between love and hate situation. He told me lately, he found there is another love for someone. When he told me that, I remembered he told me before...I wouldnt' find any gilfriend before you got any boyfriend. Maybe he has forgotten what he has said before. I dunno what's my feeling now...though I know my jealousy its in extremely high. Usually this is my normal re-action. Thinking back, if we go back to 10 years ago. We are still friend but not as couple, the friendship could be longer and longer.
I think he has tired of me, and feeling not really caring too. The care has changed to friendship.
Was thinking should I ask him not to pick me up from the airport. What will I speak to him for the first word? Do we feel embarassed, since we not are couple either I dont like as a friend to be with him. I have been in dilemma for a year in between as friend or couple.
Friends only appears in my list when we are not in relationship and I get used to someone who treat me as friend. I dunno how to express myself now. Maybe only know when we meet then only I know what I will re-act.
Our relationship started with 10 years ago, both of us are college student....remembered why we are lost contact its because he told me that his ex-girlfriend doesnt like me to contact him anymore, so we have stopped and lost contact for about 2-3 years. He was in Beijing at that time, when we known each other, there is maybe time, I was broke-off with my ex bf too. We get along together. And become couple since in end of year 2005, remember its a christmas eve. Time flies very quickly, now i m coming to 28 turning to another stage of life. A new life has come. Things has changed and feelings has gone. Maybe its my time to re-born a new life for myself. I think my story lines are quite interesting, should I sell it off to some movie production and make it as a movie?
I dunno how he feel when he will read my blog?
Tell me what you feel when you read this article.
Finally, I am in between love and hate situation. He told me lately, he found there is another love for someone. When he told me that, I remembered he told me before...I wouldnt' find any gilfriend before you got any boyfriend. Maybe he has forgotten what he has said before. I dunno what's my feeling now...though I know my jealousy its in extremely high. Usually this is my normal re-action. Thinking back, if we go back to 10 years ago. We are still friend but not as couple, the friendship could be longer and longer.
I think he has tired of me, and feeling not really caring too. The care has changed to friendship.
Was thinking should I ask him not to pick me up from the airport. What will I speak to him for the first word? Do we feel embarassed, since we not are couple either I dont like as a friend to be with him. I have been in dilemma for a year in between as friend or couple.
Friends only appears in my list when we are not in relationship and I get used to someone who treat me as friend. I dunno how to express myself now. Maybe only know when we meet then only I know what I will re-act.
Our relationship started with 10 years ago, both of us are college student....remembered why we are lost contact its because he told me that his ex-girlfriend doesnt like me to contact him anymore, so we have stopped and lost contact for about 2-3 years. He was in Beijing at that time, when we known each other, there is maybe time, I was broke-off with my ex bf too. We get along together. And become couple since in end of year 2005, remember its a christmas eve. Time flies very quickly, now i m coming to 28 turning to another stage of life. A new life has come. Things has changed and feelings has gone. Maybe its my time to re-born a new life for myself. I think my story lines are quite interesting, should I sell it off to some movie production and make it as a movie?
I dunno how he feel when he will read my blog?
Tell me what you feel when you read this article.
Monday, April 13, 2009
接受 - Accept the Truth
13th April 2009
I have woke up at 4:50 am in the morning. Even though this morning without my cafe latte, but I will the freshness in the early morning. At first was thinking to go Mid Valley to see the Big Blue which advertise on tv since last 2 weeks ago. Suddenly, I was thinking someone....that 'him' but fortunately he did not reply my text message either a phone call. Thinking a night to forget...but its was 10 years which we get a long together even before we become a couple. 10 years has gone into sea with a blink of eyes.
Listening Fish Leong song, the title is 接受 - accept the truth. Finally, I realized 'yes' we really need to accept the truth....we are both 2 different world...mean while, thinking about myself....I am more toward to a selfish person. I dont care what's matter it is, but its important to both of us.
Lyrics come with
我们都接受 (We both has accepted)
一定是彼此不够成熟 (As we both thought we are not mature enough)
在爱情里分不了轻重 ( In a relationships, we can judge the balances in between)
诚实的过了头 ( Too honest in between the relationship)
不能退后也无法向前走 ( Cant turn back and cant go forward)
爱是一个自私的念头 ( Love is a selfish thinking minded)
把寂寞消除的理由 ( Think the loneliness become an excuse)
剩下的那些人都 ( Left all those people)
能记得多久 ( How long we can thinking about each and other)
I wanna wishes him...may all happiness you want you will get and may all prosperous you wishes you'll be more happier than ever after. I am looking forward into another relationship, brand new relationship...I have a feeling this time I could met my prince in a flight...it could be or couldnt be mine...anyway, a hope always in brighter side for us.
I have woke up at 4:50 am in the morning. Even though this morning without my cafe latte, but I will the freshness in the early morning. At first was thinking to go Mid Valley to see the Big Blue which advertise on tv since last 2 weeks ago. Suddenly, I was thinking someone....that 'him' but fortunately he did not reply my text message either a phone call. Thinking a night to forget...but its was 10 years which we get a long together even before we become a couple. 10 years has gone into sea with a blink of eyes.
Listening Fish Leong song, the title is 接受 - accept the truth. Finally, I realized 'yes' we really need to accept the truth....we are both 2 different world...mean while, thinking about myself....I am more toward to a selfish person. I dont care what's matter it is, but its important to both of us.
Lyrics come with
我们都接受 (We both has accepted)
一定是彼此不够成熟 (As we both thought we are not mature enough)
在爱情里分不了轻重 ( In a relationships, we can judge the balances in between)
诚实的过了头 ( Too honest in between the relationship)
不能退后也无法向前走 ( Cant turn back and cant go forward)
爱是一个自私的念头 ( Love is a selfish thinking minded)
把寂寞消除的理由 ( Think the loneliness become an excuse)
剩下的那些人都 ( Left all those people)
能记得多久 ( How long we can thinking about each and other)
I wanna wishes him...may all happiness you want you will get and may all prosperous you wishes you'll be more happier than ever after. I am looking forward into another relationship, brand new relationship...I have a feeling this time I could met my prince in a flight...it could be or couldnt be mine...anyway, a hope always in brighter side for us.
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