淡淡忘了
忘和忙， 有一个人我已经遗忘 他长了什么样。。。
我终于明白，他的爱永远永不回来。。。他已经有了新对象。 有可能是我的嫉妒。。也有可能是我的敏锐的感觉。 人都是一样的， 用感情去遗忘 一段美好的回忆。 有人说， 人就是很容易去忘旧的又很盼望新的来。。。。但是为什么， 我重来没有这一种感觉。 我已经爱的太深了。 永远都回记得这一段甜美的日记
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Time to Move On
17th April 2009
It has been 4 nights include tonight I have sleepless night. After a wake from 3 am this morning, I really cant sleep back. Maybe because of my jealousy after heard that he has fallen in love with someone whom not with me. But, the another hand I told myself, its time to move on dear....you cant always in your sweet dream...be tough, be strong...you have to forget this person very soon. You can't always be like a sweetie...neither he would not comes back to you.
Suddenly, I emailed him and tried to avoid him to meet up for my Europe trip. I do not know, is he really a nice person said wanna pick me up from the airport and send me to the hotel and bla bla bla. You know, something I am feeling he is acting in front me. And he told me everything....even 'she knows that he will pick me from the airport'. What does it means....I believe probably he would like to the whole world...you see how smart I am, still my EX-Girlfriend coming to visit me. Though I am his ex-girlfriend but it doesnt mean that he would be nice to me. I tried several emails and inform, please do not pick me from airport. Dont you think we shouldn't meet up, especially he knows that once I am crying, no one can stop me and I hardly stop from crying too. I have no tears and nearly dried-up my eyes because of him. I didnt hate him now, and I understand what he wants. So I decided to let my hands go and he keeps wants to hold back. As he told me, he just need a purely friendship between me and HIM.
Does it sounds like he's really generous person or reflecting me that I am selfish person. He told me, in a relationship only said love or dont love. I never know he ever never love me before, probably he did...maybe within the 3 months before. I only hope god knows what I have done...I appreicated the gifts he has sent to me before. But I dont appreciate the acting on pick me up from airport, since we are truely know we would have some embarassed situation will happened.
I couldn't understand what he has thought in his mind. And I never thought what he thinks too. Many scenes in my mind keep on repeating....like a slide show. We have not meet up for 2 years, I really dont wish to meet with him now and forever.
It has been 4 nights include tonight I have sleepless night. After a wake from 3 am this morning, I really cant sleep back. Maybe because of my jealousy after heard that he has fallen in love with someone whom not with me. But, the another hand I told myself, its time to move on dear....you cant always in your sweet dream...be tough, be strong...you have to forget this person very soon. You can't always be like a sweetie...neither he would not comes back to you.
Suddenly, I emailed him and tried to avoid him to meet up for my Europe trip. I do not know, is he really a nice person said wanna pick me up from the airport and send me to the hotel and bla bla bla. You know, something I am feeling he is acting in front me. And he told me everything....even 'she knows that he will pick me from the airport'. What does it means....I believe probably he would like to the whole world...you see how smart I am, still my EX-Girlfriend coming to visit me. Though I am his ex-girlfriend but it doesnt mean that he would be nice to me. I tried several emails and inform, please do not pick me from airport. Dont you think we shouldn't meet up, especially he knows that once I am crying, no one can stop me and I hardly stop from crying too. I have no tears and nearly dried-up my eyes because of him. I didnt hate him now, and I understand what he wants. So I decided to let my hands go and he keeps wants to hold back. As he told me, he just need a purely friendship between me and HIM.
Does it sounds like he's really generous person or reflecting me that I am selfish person. He told me, in a relationship only said love or dont love. I never know he ever never love me before, probably he did...maybe within the 3 months before. I only hope god knows what I have done...I appreicated the gifts he has sent to me before. But I dont appreciate the acting on pick me up from airport, since we are truely know we would have some embarassed situation will happened.
I couldn't understand what he has thought in his mind. And I never thought what he thinks too. Many scenes in my mind keep on repeating....like a slide show. We have not meet up for 2 years, I really dont wish to meet with him now and forever.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
In Between Love and Hate
16 April 2009
Finally, I am in between love and hate situation. He told me lately, he found there is another love for someone. When he told me that, I remembered he told me before...I wouldnt' find any gilfriend before you got any boyfriend. Maybe he has forgotten what he has said before. I dunno what's my feeling now...though I know my jealousy its in extremely high. Usually this is my normal re-action. Thinking back, if we go back to 10 years ago. We are still friend but not as couple, the friendship could be longer and longer.
I think he has tired of me, and feeling not really caring too. The care has changed to friendship.
Was thinking should I ask him not to pick me up from the airport. What will I speak to him for the first word? Do we feel embarassed, since we not are couple either I dont like as a friend to be with him. I have been in dilemma for a year in between as friend or couple.
Friends only appears in my list when we are not in relationship and I get used to someone who treat me as friend. I dunno how to express myself now. Maybe only know when we meet then only I know what I will re-act.
Our relationship started with 10 years ago, both of us are college student....remembered why we are lost contact its because he told me that his ex-girlfriend doesnt like me to contact him anymore, so we have stopped and lost contact for about 2-3 years. He was in Beijing at that time, when we known each other, there is maybe time, I was broke-off with my ex bf too. We get along together. And become couple since in end of year 2005, remember its a christmas eve. Time flies very quickly, now i m coming to 28 turning to another stage of life. A new life has come. Things has changed and feelings has gone. Maybe its my time to re-born a new life for myself. I think my story lines are quite interesting, should I sell it off to some movie production and make it as a movie?
I dunno how he feel when he will read my blog?
Tell me what you feel when you read this article.
Finally, I am in between love and hate situation. He told me lately, he found there is another love for someone. When he told me that, I remembered he told me before...I wouldnt' find any gilfriend before you got any boyfriend. Maybe he has forgotten what he has said before. I dunno what's my feeling now...though I know my jealousy its in extremely high. Usually this is my normal re-action. Thinking back, if we go back to 10 years ago. We are still friend but not as couple, the friendship could be longer and longer.
I think he has tired of me, and feeling not really caring too. The care has changed to friendship.
Was thinking should I ask him not to pick me up from the airport. What will I speak to him for the first word? Do we feel embarassed, since we not are couple either I dont like as a friend to be with him. I have been in dilemma for a year in between as friend or couple.
Friends only appears in my list when we are not in relationship and I get used to someone who treat me as friend. I dunno how to express myself now. Maybe only know when we meet then only I know what I will re-act.
Our relationship started with 10 years ago, both of us are college student....remembered why we are lost contact its because he told me that his ex-girlfriend doesnt like me to contact him anymore, so we have stopped and lost contact for about 2-3 years. He was in Beijing at that time, when we known each other, there is maybe time, I was broke-off with my ex bf too. We get along together. And become couple since in end of year 2005, remember its a christmas eve. Time flies very quickly, now i m coming to 28 turning to another stage of life. A new life has come. Things has changed and feelings has gone. Maybe its my time to re-born a new life for myself. I think my story lines are quite interesting, should I sell it off to some movie production and make it as a movie?
I dunno how he feel when he will read my blog?
Tell me what you feel when you read this article.
Monday, April 13, 2009
接受 - Accept the Truth
13th April 2009
I have woke up at 4:50 am in the morning. Even though this morning without my cafe latte, but I will the freshness in the early morning. At first was thinking to go Mid Valley to see the Big Blue which advertise on tv since last 2 weeks ago. Suddenly, I was thinking someone....that 'him' but fortunately he did not reply my text message either a phone call. Thinking a night to forget...but its was 10 years which we get a long together even before we become a couple. 10 years has gone into sea with a blink of eyes.
Listening Fish Leong song, the title is 接受 - accept the truth. Finally, I realized 'yes' we really need to accept the truth....we are both 2 different world...mean while, thinking about myself....I am more toward to a selfish person. I dont care what's matter it is, but its important to both of us.
Lyrics come with
我们都接受 (We both has accepted)
一定是彼此不够成熟 (As we both thought we are not mature enough)
在爱情里分不了轻重 ( In a relationships, we can judge the balances in between)
诚实的过了头 ( Too honest in between the relationship)
不能退后也无法向前走 ( Cant turn back and cant go forward)
爱是一个自私的念头 ( Love is a selfish thinking minded)
把寂寞消除的理由 ( Think the loneliness become an excuse)
剩下的那些人都 ( Left all those people)
能记得多久 ( How long we can thinking about each and other)
I wanna wishes him...may all happiness you want you will get and may all prosperous you wishes you'll be more happier than ever after. I am looking forward into another relationship, brand new relationship...I have a feeling this time I could met my prince in a flight...it could be or couldnt be mine...anyway, a hope always in brighter side for us.
I have woke up at 4:50 am in the morning. Even though this morning without my cafe latte, but I will the freshness in the early morning. At first was thinking to go Mid Valley to see the Big Blue which advertise on tv since last 2 weeks ago. Suddenly, I was thinking someone....that 'him' but fortunately he did not reply my text message either a phone call. Thinking a night to forget...but its was 10 years which we get a long together even before we become a couple. 10 years has gone into sea with a blink of eyes.
Listening Fish Leong song, the title is 接受 - accept the truth. Finally, I realized 'yes' we really need to accept the truth....we are both 2 different world...mean while, thinking about myself....I am more toward to a selfish person. I dont care what's matter it is, but its important to both of us.
Lyrics come with
我们都接受 (We both has accepted)
一定是彼此不够成熟 (As we both thought we are not mature enough)
在爱情里分不了轻重 ( In a relationships, we can judge the balances in between)
诚实的过了头 ( Too honest in between the relationship)
不能退后也无法向前走 ( Cant turn back and cant go forward)
爱是一个自私的念头 ( Love is a selfish thinking minded)
把寂寞消除的理由 ( Think the loneliness become an excuse)
剩下的那些人都 ( Left all those people)
能记得多久 ( How long we can thinking about each and other)
I wanna wishes him...may all happiness you want you will get and may all prosperous you wishes you'll be more happier than ever after. I am looking forward into another relationship, brand new relationship...I have a feeling this time I could met my prince in a flight...it could be or couldnt be mine...anyway, a hope always in brighter side for us.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
In Dilemma
12th April 2009
In dilemma, in between friendship and a lover....recently, things getting slowly and time flies like rocket. I have not chatted with him, I think more than 2 weeks after we have recently said he just need a 'friendship'. Things can be too complicated and things can be simplified.....
Most recently, the first boyfriend (married guy) has called back....that's the complicated stories comes in...when things getting into a dark world....not really know that's the angle or devil has come to save the return of life.
Well, recently I have good habit on reading novel and some articles on blog...which I find that really helps me a lot on my language improvement.
This morning called a friend in Tokyo, he is nearly 20 years elder than me, but find chatting and speaking with me...something like speaking a wise-man. Thought we are really a good friend, which we always said we need mutual respect with each and other. We know we are not getting along into a relationship but a friend sometime need some warms.
Love can be cruel and sometime its really selfish. Sometimes, its not a right time to say in relationship....when love its getting cruel means that never comes back again. When a situation getting embarrassed between 2 person, means that the crack-lines are in between. No matter in what situation leave it to be....no one can tell one person future, in no matter how a fortune-teller can predict. No one can tell which direction I can go.
Love, when comes its so sweet. When goes, it will gone like a wind...and no one can smell of it.
In dilemma, in between friendship and a lover....recently, things getting slowly and time flies like rocket. I have not chatted with him, I think more than 2 weeks after we have recently said he just need a 'friendship'. Things can be too complicated and things can be simplified.....
Most recently, the first boyfriend (married guy) has called back....that's the complicated stories comes in...when things getting into a dark world....not really know that's the angle or devil has come to save the return of life.
Well, recently I have good habit on reading novel and some articles on blog...which I find that really helps me a lot on my language improvement.
This morning called a friend in Tokyo, he is nearly 20 years elder than me, but find chatting and speaking with me...something like speaking a wise-man. Thought we are really a good friend, which we always said we need mutual respect with each and other. We know we are not getting along into a relationship but a friend sometime need some warms.
Love can be cruel and sometime its really selfish. Sometimes, its not a right time to say in relationship....when love its getting cruel means that never comes back again. When a situation getting embarrassed between 2 person, means that the crack-lines are in between. No matter in what situation leave it to be....no one can tell one person future, in no matter how a fortune-teller can predict. No one can tell which direction I can go.
Love, when comes its so sweet. When goes, it will gone like a wind...and no one can smell of it.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
纪念阿桑
7 April 2009
今天一早听到，阿桑已经离我们去
那时候，我就突然想起 这首歌- 叶子。 应为使我离开那个人的时候。。。这一首歌陪伴过我。 虽然我那时候很悲伤但是 这首歌 给我一些 鼓励的勇气。 有可能吧，我感到他已经了我而。 觉得离我已经太远了。 今天我在Download 过这一首歌，也是另外一个他 。。。。已经要离开我
歌词：歌曲:叶子
歌手:阿桑
阿桑 - 叶子
作词：陈晓娟 作曲：陈晓娟
叶子 是不会飞翔的翅膀
翅膀 是落在天上的叶子
天堂 原来应该不是妄想
只是我早已经遗忘
当初怎么开始飞翔
孤单 是一个人的狂欢
狂欢 是一群人的孤单
爱情 原来的开始是陪伴
但我也渐渐地遗忘
当时是怎样有人陪伴
我一个人吃饭 旅行 到处走走停停
也一个人看书 写信 自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你
我一个人吃饭 旅行 到处走走停停
也一个人看书 写信 自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你
孤单 是一个人的狂欢
狂欢 是一群人的孤单
爱情 原来的开始是陪伴
但我也渐渐地遗忘
当时是怎样有人陪伴
我一个人吃饭 旅行 到处走走停停
也一个人看书 写信 自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你
我一个人吃饭 旅行 到处走走停停
也一个人看书 写信 自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你
叶子 是不会飞翔的翅膀
翅膀 是落在天上的叶子
今天一早听到，阿桑已经离我们去
那时候，我就突然想起 这首歌- 叶子。 应为使我离开那个人的时候。。。这一首歌陪伴过我。 虽然我那时候很悲伤但是 这首歌 给我一些 鼓励的勇气。 有可能吧，我感到他已经了我而。 觉得离我已经太远了。 今天我在Download 过这一首歌，也是另外一个他 。。。。已经要离开我
歌词：歌曲:叶子
歌手:阿桑
阿桑 - 叶子
作词：陈晓娟 作曲：陈晓娟
叶子 是不会飞翔的翅膀
翅膀 是落在天上的叶子
天堂 原来应该不是妄想
只是我早已经遗忘
当初怎么开始飞翔
孤单 是一个人的狂欢
狂欢 是一群人的孤单
爱情 原来的开始是陪伴
但我也渐渐地遗忘
当时是怎样有人陪伴
我一个人吃饭 旅行 到处走走停停
也一个人看书 写信 自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你
我一个人吃饭 旅行 到处走走停停
也一个人看书 写信 自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你
孤单 是一个人的狂欢
狂欢 是一群人的孤单
爱情 原来的开始是陪伴
但我也渐渐地遗忘
当时是怎样有人陪伴
我一个人吃饭 旅行 到处走走停停
也一个人看书 写信 自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你
我一个人吃饭 旅行 到处走走停停
也一个人看书 写信 自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你
叶子 是不会飞翔的翅膀
翅膀 是落在天上的叶子
Friday, April 3, 2009
Sending a message to a Right Person
3rd April 2009
After learnt a lesson, I now become more aware to send out each of the message ....sending the right message to a right person. Though, you may this maybe rubbish....but let me remind you, once the opportunity has left out then you think I am not talking about the rubbish.
My old phone, sony ericsson w850i...occuring some problem, its automatically shut off suddenly. Errmm....I am thinking probably its the time to change a new phone....last night, was really thinking and not sleeping....keep quiet walking out from my ward room....Took few steps staircase and reached to 'baby's room' .
I was thinking maybe I should be a good mommy for my Baby...that's make me few thinking of ideas become a single's mom in my mind. Maybe I should have my own baby without any man help. Or maybe I find some reliable partner to have his baby. More over, was thinking where to get a potential partner....should I become a single Mom? With my raising and have a wonderful super hot Mom's. I am sure he/she (Baby i mean) would love me.
After learnt a lesson, I now become more aware to send out each of the message ....sending the right message to a right person. Though, you may this maybe rubbish....but let me remind you, once the opportunity has left out then you think I am not talking about the rubbish.
My old phone, sony ericsson w850i...occuring some problem, its automatically shut off suddenly. Errmm....I am thinking probably its the time to change a new phone....last night, was really thinking and not sleeping....keep quiet walking out from my ward room....Took few steps staircase and reached to 'baby's room' .
I was thinking maybe I should be a good mommy for my Baby...that's make me few thinking of ideas become a single's mom in my mind. Maybe I should have my own baby without any man help. Or maybe I find some reliable partner to have his baby. More over, was thinking where to get a potential partner....should I become a single Mom? With my raising and have a wonderful super hot Mom's. I am sure he/she (Baby i mean) would love me.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Do you smoke?
2nd April 2009 - There is a question recently....was surrounding me quite a few girlfriends of mine are smoking.
Recently, many and too stressfull... I started had that thought.....smoke, to release the stressfull and mindsent..actually its an excuses to everyone.
And its include me as an excuse to get a puff of smoke. So does it means, I am smoking....Nah, its not. But these days, feeling bit grey and really want to have puff of smoke. Was having a thought to have a puff of some in weeds in Amsterdam when I reached there.
I believe it could be really good in feeling.... Should I have a try on this? Smoke weeds....let's join together.
Recently, many and too stressfull... I started had that thought.....smoke, to release the stressfull and mindsent..actually its an excuses to everyone.
And its include me as an excuse to get a puff of smoke. So does it means, I am smoking....Nah, its not. But these days, feeling bit grey and really want to have puff of smoke. Was having a thought to have a puff of some in weeds in Amsterdam when I reached there.
I believe it could be really good in feeling.... Should I have a try on this? Smoke weeds....let's join together.
Preparing for my Europe Trip
2nd April 2009 - Another 4 weeks its my Europe trip.
I dunno how to express the term on my this trip. Just feel its could be not on time for this trip and feel its an unpleasant trip for me.
At first, I could dreamed off the trip its really having my dream of holidays....but now because some incidents happened in between me and a friend. The dream has broken off. But luckily, some of friends are giving me more support. Esp HIM, thanks to him really...... I never noticed someone around me its really taken care of this little princess.
He never be too old for me to advice me at all.....Probably, someone may think I am crazy...are u sure to be with someone elder than you 20 years old....but ages doesnt count he love or not....I believe you did too....Even my dad and my mom had a 12 years huge gap in between.
I just think, thats enjoyment will be good enough for me and HIM, thats will do. Nothing can break we both with the trust and relationship will always work if we really think its works for both of us.
I dunno how to express the term on my this trip. Just feel its could be not on time for this trip and feel its an unpleasant trip for me.
At first, I could dreamed off the trip its really having my dream of holidays....but now because some incidents happened in between me and a friend. The dream has broken off. But luckily, some of friends are giving me more support. Esp HIM, thanks to him really...... I never noticed someone around me its really taken care of this little princess.
He never be too old for me to advice me at all.....Probably, someone may think I am crazy...are u sure to be with someone elder than you 20 years old....but ages doesnt count he love or not....I believe you did too....Even my dad and my mom had a 12 years huge gap in between.
I just think, thats enjoyment will be good enough for me and HIM, thats will do. Nothing can break we both with the trust and relationship will always work if we really think its works for both of us.
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